How to Start a Story in a Coma Setting
The challenge of beginning a narrative with your protagonist in a coma is significant, yet brimming with creative potential. Let's explore some strategies to captivate your readers from the first page, even when your main character is unconscious.
Establishing the Scene: Sensory Deprivation or Overload?
The immediate task is to immerse the reader in the unique environment of a coma. Is it a sterile, silent hospital room, or a cacophony of beeping machines and hushed voices? The sensory details, or lack thereof, are your initial building blocks.
Consider these approaches:
- Internal Monologue: Start with the character's thoughts, a jumbled stream of consciousness. Are they aware of anything? Are they reliving memories? This internal narrative can reveal crucial backstory and character traits. Imagine the protagonist vaguely remembering a car accident or a heated argument just before everything went black.
- External Observations (Heard, Not Seen): Introduce snippets of dialogue from doctors, nurses, or visiting family members. These conversations can provide information about the character's condition, their life outside the coma, and the events leading up to it. "His pressure is still unstable," a doctor might say, creating immediate tension.
- Sensory Fragments: Focus on fragmented sensations – a faint scent of antiseptic, the rhythmic whoosh of a ventilator, a distant touch. These sensory details create a visceral experience for the reader, drawing them into the protagonist's limited awareness.
- Dreamscapes and Hallucinations: The coma state allows for surreal and symbolic imagery. Use dreams or hallucinations to explore the character's subconscious fears, desires, or unresolved conflicts.
Introducing the Protagonist: Character Through Absence
Even though your protagonist is unconscious, you can still establish their personality and history. Use the techniques mentioned above to reveal information indirectly. Consider:
- Backstory Through Memories: Flashbacks, triggered by external stimuli or internal thoughts, can reveal key moments from the character's past. These memories should be relevant to the present situation, offering clues about their relationships, motivations, and the circumstances of their coma.
- Character Perception Through Other Characters: The way other characters talk about the protagonist – their worries, their hopes, their frustrations – paints a picture of who they are. "She always put others first," a loved one might say, revealing a selfless nature.
- Contradictions and Unreliable Narrators: Introduce conflicting perspectives about the protagonist. Perhaps one person describes them as a saint, while another hints at a darker side. This ambiguity creates intrigue and invites the reader to question everything.
Raising the Stakes: Conflict and Mystery
A compelling story needs conflict. Even in a coma setting, you can introduce elements of tension and mystery. Consider:
- The Cause of the Coma: Was it an accident, or was something more sinister involved? Introduce hints of foul play or unanswered questions to create suspense.
- External Threats: Is the character in danger even while unconscious? Perhaps someone is trying to harm them, or a vital medical decision needs to be made quickly.
- Internal Struggles: The protagonist may be battling inner demons, facing unresolved trauma, or grappling with a difficult choice in their dreams or subconscious.
- The Urgency of Time: A ticking clock can add immediate tension. Is there a limited time frame for recovery? Will the character suffer permanent damage if they don't wake up soon?
Examples of Effective Openings
Let's look at a few hypothetical examples:
Example 1 (Internal Monologue): Water. So much water. Cold, suffocating water filling my lungs. I can't breathe. A voice, distant and distorted, whispers my name. Who is it? I try to answer, but my throat is paralyzed.
This opening immediately establishes a sense of panic and disorientation. The reader is plunged into the character's internal struggle, unsure of their surroundings or the reason for their distress.
Example 2 (External Observation): "We've done everything we can, Mr. Jones. It's been six months. If she doesn't wake up soon..." The doctor's voice trailed off, heavy with unspoken words. A gentle hand squeezed mine, calloused and familiar. My father. He always smelled of sawdust and hope.
Here, the reader learns about the character's prolonged coma and the dire situation. The snippets of dialogue and sensory details (the smell of sawdust) hint at the character's life and the emotional toll on their loved ones.
Example 3 (Sensory Fragments): A persistent beep. A faint scent of bleach. A dull ache in my head. Nothing else. Just emptiness and the relentless, monotonous beep... beep... beep...
This opening focuses on the stark reality of the coma state. The repetitive sensory details emphasize the protagonist's isolation and the passage of time.
Key Considerations
- Pacing: While you want to establish the scene and introduce the character, avoid overwhelming the reader with too much information at once. Gradually reveal details to maintain intrigue.
- Voice: Decide on the narrative voice early on. Will it be first-person (from the character's perspective), third-person limited (focusing on the character's internal thoughts and feelings), or third-person omniscient (allowing you to reveal information from multiple perspectives)?
- Research: Conduct thorough research on comas, brain injuries, and medical procedures to ensure accuracy and authenticity. This will lend credibility to your story.
Avoiding Common Pitfalls
- Infodumping: Avoid overwhelming the reader with excessive medical jargon or exposition. Integrate information naturally through dialogue, memories, and observations.
- Passivity: Even in a coma, your protagonist can be active in their own way – through their thoughts, dreams, and subconscious struggles. Don't let them be a passive observer.
- Unrealistic Recovery: Be mindful of the complexities of coma recovery. Avoid portraying a miraculous and unrealistic awakening without proper explanation.
Starting a story in a coma setting presents a unique opportunity to explore themes of consciousness, identity, and the human spirit. By focusing on sensory details, character development, and compelling conflict, you can create a captivating and thought-provoking narrative that will resonate with readers long after they turn the final page. Don't be afraid to experiment and push the boundaries of conventional storytelling. The coma setting offers a blank canvas for your imagination to run wild.
