Okay, let's talk shoulder pads. Not the real, bone-crushing kind. We're going for *costume* shoulder pads, people.
The "Unpopular" Opinion: Realism is Overrated
Here's my hot take: no one actually cares if your shoulder pads are 100% accurate. Seriously, they don't. In fact, the bigger and sillier, the better!
I'm going to let you in on a secret. I think store-bought costume shoulder pads are…lacking. They just don’t have that *oomph*.
Option 1: The Cardboard Crusader
Grab some cardboard. Any cardboard will do. Cereal boxes, shipping boxes, even that weird box your toaster came in.
Cut out two vaguely shoulder-shaped things. Don't stress about perfection. Seriously, don't.
Now, wad up some newspaper. Lots of it. Tape it to the cardboard until you achieve that *linebacker-esque* silhouette.
Duct tape is your friend. Cover the whole thing. Think shiny, think strong, think "I could totally tackle someone...maybe."
Attach them to an old t-shirt with more duct tape. Or safety pins. Whatever works. Just own it.
Option 2: The Pool Noodle Powerhouse
Pool noodles! Genius, right? Soft, colorful, and readily available at the dollar store.
Cut the pool noodle in half. Or thirds. Or any way you want, really.
Tape them together. Shape them into a bulky shoulder pad thing. Again, duct tape is key.
You can even add extra pool noodle bits for more *dimension*. Go wild.
Attach to a shirt. Bonus points if you use neon duct tape. It's a *fashion* statement.
Option 3: The Pillow Protector
Sacrifice an old pillow. Don't worry, it's for a good cause. This is a valid reason to get rid of that lumpy old pillow.
Stuff pillow filling into a fabric container that's shoulder-pad shaped. Sew it shut, or if you're like me, hot glue is just fine.
Attach to shirt. You can even cut the sleeve off of a shirt to attach it if you don't want to damage a good shirt!
Finishing Touches (or: How to Sell It)
Whatever method you choose, presentation is everything. Commit to the character. Strut your stuff.
Add some face paint. Go full throttle. This is your moment.
Most importantly, have fun. Costumes are supposed to be fun. If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong.
So go forth and create some amazing (and slightly ridiculous) shoulder pads. And remember: *confidence* is the best accessory.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go duct tape some pool noodles to my t-shirt.
And just a disclaimer, please do not try to tackle anyone in your homemade shoulder pads. I am in no way responsible for any injuries caused by your costume. Have fun, but be safe!
You've been warned.
